I miss sleep

So much for updating the blog daily. I'll be lucky if I can write once per week! I have more homework than I know what to do with, and with the long commutes, there simply aren't enough hours in the day. And I am exhausted! This week has been particularly rough because my husband, Steve, is away on a business trip. I don't sleep very well when he's not around to begin with but because this was the first time I've had to be alone in a house (as opposed to an apartment), it simply isn't possible for me to relax enough. The first night he was gone, after laying in bed for an hour with the light on and startling at every little noise I heard, I gave up and went to sleep at my in-laws', where I've been sleeping every night since. But I'm still falling asleep late and then having to get up at 5:00. I don't know how I got through high school on five hours of sleep a night because I feel like I'm dying.

Thankfully, tomorrow is Friday and I can stay in bed until whenever I want! And Steve is coming home tomorrow. I'm so excited it feels like Christmas Eve. Unfortunately, my sister-in-law, whose bed I've taken over this week, is coming home from college for the weekend. So tonight my options are to sleep on a couch with the comforting illusion of safety provided by being in the company of others, or to sleep in my warm, spacious bed that I miss so much with paranoid delusions of boogeymen coming to get me. It's kind of a gamble. Not sure what I'm going to decide.

One day down..a few hundred or so to go

My first official day as a doctoral student began at 5:30 this morning when the alarm went off. I left the house at 7:10, and arrived on campus to pick up my parking permit around 8:45. Thankfully, the weather was beautiful today so I didn't even mind the 15 minute walk to my first class, on the complete opposite end of campus from the one parking lot I'm allowed to park in, which is not really close to anything at all. Here is a run-down of the rest of the day. I have included some random pictures from around campus (and one scenic view from just off the highway) that I took with my phone.

9:30-10:45- Data Management and Statistical Computing. The instructor seems nice enough, but it's going to be a dry class. During introductions, I learned that my fellow classmates are quite diverse. They came from many different countries, including China, India, Turkey, and a number of African nations. Very cool!




11:15-12:30- Cancer epidemiology. Small class in a conference room. I think it will be fascinating! We got a 45-minute lecture today and I was hardly bored at all.

Break until 2:30- Went to the campus center to grab lunch. The place was swarming with people! I could hardly move, and the lines for food were ridiculous. I ultimately decided to get some tofu, broccoli, and brown rice from an asian restaurant. It was okay, but not really what I wanted. I'm going to have to figure out something better to do for lunches because I can't be spending $6 a day on food.

2:30-3:45- Psychology of Persuasion. Another really interesting course. Unfortunately, I'm on the waiting list, so I might not actually be able to take it if not enough people drop it.

4:00-5:15- Research Methods in Nutrition. I really like this professor for some reason. He's an older man with white hair, small oval glasses, and a bit of a Santa belly. But he's cute in this weird, grandfatherly way. This class is very small, too. 7 students, I think.

I left campus at 5:30 and made it home by 7:10. I hit no traffic at all, which was a big relief! Now I have just a little bit of time to relax and watch some TV. Then I'm headed to bed so I can get up and back on the road early tomorrow! I'd be lying if I said I wasn't wondering how long I can keep this up.

TA Orientation

Today I went to an orientation for my new position as a TA at UMASS. The day included a number of workshops on teaching strategies. Despite the fact that I feel completely overwhelmed by the thought of having to stand at the front of a classroom and command the attention of 30ish underslept (is that a word?) and probably hungover college students who couldn't care less about nutrition, I am actually just a little excited to try my hand at this whole teaching thing.

Until now, I have always had zero desire to teach anyone anything, ever. I have always said that the LAST thing I'd ever want to be is a teacher. Give me my own space, a computer, and some data and I'm happy. I usually prefer not to interact much with other people, especially in a capacity where I am providing some sort of service to them. Granted, teaching college students isn't exactly the same as flipping burgers at Mickey D's, but still, people are paying for something and I have to give it to them. Although they are not traditionally treated as such, students are customers.

Add to this my distaste for the sound of my own voice and aversion to being the center of attention, and it becomes pretty clear that I might not be well-suited to a teaching role. On the other hand, teachers do have pretty nice work schedules.

The speakers I had the fortune to hear today actually made me think twice about teaching. Perhaps I shouldn't write it off as a possible career choice after all. These instructors really knew what they were doing. And they made it sound like the experience of teaching could be interesting, exciting, and rewarding. Maybe I could do this. Maybe I would even enjoy it! Of course, these instructors were much more vibrant and charismatic than I could ever hope to be. Although they make it look easy, I have a feeling it will be much more difficult for me to keep people awake, nevermind get them to learn anything!

Now, my mind is racing with so many ideas. I'm not the most organized person, so it will be a challenge for me to organize them into a plan I can follow. My first official day as a TA is next Wednesday, September 16th. Hopefully I will feel prepared by then.

Introduction

Hello and welcome to "Becoming Dr. Doughty," the blog where I will chronicle my experience pursuing, and hopefully obtaining a PhD. If you don't know me, here is a little bit of background: My name is Kim, I'm 24 years old and starting a PhD program in nutrition at UMASS Amherst. I am married and just bought a house in New Haven, CT, and yes, I'm commuting an hour and 45 minutes each way to school. I have been married for 3 years (since I was 21). The last 2 statements alone should tell you that I am clearly an anomaly (i.e. out of my mind). I have a Bachelor's degree in nutrition and just finished (sort of.. that's another story altogether) a Master's program in public health.

In less than one week, I will enter my 19th year of formal education and attend my first class as a doctoral student. I will also be a teaching assistant (TA) at UMASS, leading 2 discussion groups for a basic nutrition class comprised mostly of freshmen and sophomores who, based on the reports of other TAs, have entered legal adulthood without ever having become even minimally self-reliant. I will also be working very part-time as a research assistant at a research center where I've been employed for the past 2 years. Unfortunately, neither of these jobs pays well and so it remains to be seen whether this new mortgage payment will be the financial death of my husband and me or not.

And so this is an exciting yet terrifying time of my life. I hope my account of this experience can be an inspiration, or more likely a cautionary tale, for others considering this path.