One of the more interesting aspects of being a doctoral student is having to adopt a teacher persona after so many years of only being a student. It's particularly strange because my students are only 3-7 years younger than I am, and still being a student myself, I can relate to them pretty well, I think. I'm not sure if this is a good thing or a bad thing, though. On one hand, they probably feel more comfortable (I certainly don't think I'm intimidating anyone) and I think I am better able to make decisions about the expectations I should have because it was not so long ago that I was an undergrad. On the other hand, it's pretty hard for me to feel confident and command the attention of the room.
As close in age as we are, however, I am keenly aware of the many differences between me and these legal adults who are still so childlike. It makes me feel very old. Until this year, I have not ever felt old. I looked forward to every birthday and the increased maturity and respect that would come with them. Not this year. Instead, I'd like to go back to 21 or even 18 when responsibilities were few and fun and excitement was around every corner.
At the beginning of this year, I couldn't wait to be 30 (don't ask me why). Now, I feel like I'm inching closer and closer to geriatric status every minute. Why the change? I can only blame the undergrads I'm surrounded by on campus, with their babyfaced complexions and their leggings, UGG boots, and Northfaces. They remind me that that chapter of my life is over; that even though I might be able to get away with rocking the UGG boots, I probably can't pull off half of the styles that they do, and I will never have the kind of youthful beauty that only comes from being at the peak of fertility, yet another thing that is wasted on the young. For me, it's all pretty much downhill from here.
Of course, getting older isn't all gloom and doom. There are lots of reasons I'm glad to be where I am in my life, rather than where they are. For one, I can buy my own alcohol. For another, I don't get hungover after drinking said alcohol because I'm not stupid anymore. I can also write grammatically correct sentences and discern the difference between a dorito and a vegetable. More on that later.
