(Image copyright Jorge Cham: http://www.phdcomics.com)
In my last post, I lamented the impending chaos that the new semester would bring and at the end I posed a rhetorical question- to myself, I suppose- "Why am I doing this again?" Now in my third week of classes, I remember.
My assessment of the sacrifices involved with grad school was completely accurate. As I write this, my eyelids are heavy from too many nights with too little sleep and my mind is racing with thoughts of things that need doing. My shoulder aches from bearing the weight of my overstuffed messenger bag and my calves are tight from running uphill across campus only to be late to class nonetheless. Not to mention the pains in my bank account owing to thrice weekly gas tank fill-ups, textbook purchases, plus a $250 parking permit and a $175 software program.
Despite these nuisances, I cannot pretend to be unhappy with my choice. The costs are great, but the rewards are even greater. Although I do expect my degree to pay off financially in the long run, it is not the promise of eventual monetary dividends that keep me motivated from day-to-day. I much prefer instant gratification, so the rewards I speak of are immediate, though (unfortunately) not in the form of income.
So what, then, makes it all worthwhile? It's the feeling of belonging I get when I leave my car in the morning and enter this other world, separate from my home life, where my only responsibility is to share knowledge- to learn from some and teach others. Although it can be dull at times, it is usually interesting and exciting. The feeling of discovering a new way to look at something, or mastering a new skill is almost as great as the feeling of being a part of a community of like-minded but diverse individuals. I have met so many amazing people in graduate school; people I don't think I would have met anywhere else.
But what is perhaps most rewarding for me is the experience of being a TA. There are, of course, moments when my voice puts them to sleep, but there are also many moments when they become engaged in a discussion that pushes them intellectually or a debate that challenges them to try to see a different point of view. These are the moments that shape who they are and help to determine the choices they will make in their careers and their personal lives. And I am fortunate enough to have the opportunity to play a small role in that. What could be better?
My assessment of the sacrifices involved with grad school was completely accurate. As I write this, my eyelids are heavy from too many nights with too little sleep and my mind is racing with thoughts of things that need doing. My shoulder aches from bearing the weight of my overstuffed messenger bag and my calves are tight from running uphill across campus only to be late to class nonetheless. Not to mention the pains in my bank account owing to thrice weekly gas tank fill-ups, textbook purchases, plus a $250 parking permit and a $175 software program.
Despite these nuisances, I cannot pretend to be unhappy with my choice. The costs are great, but the rewards are even greater. Although I do expect my degree to pay off financially in the long run, it is not the promise of eventual monetary dividends that keep me motivated from day-to-day. I much prefer instant gratification, so the rewards I speak of are immediate, though (unfortunately) not in the form of income.
So what, then, makes it all worthwhile? It's the feeling of belonging I get when I leave my car in the morning and enter this other world, separate from my home life, where my only responsibility is to share knowledge- to learn from some and teach others. Although it can be dull at times, it is usually interesting and exciting. The feeling of discovering a new way to look at something, or mastering a new skill is almost as great as the feeling of being a part of a community of like-minded but diverse individuals. I have met so many amazing people in graduate school; people I don't think I would have met anywhere else.
But what is perhaps most rewarding for me is the experience of being a TA. There are, of course, moments when my voice puts them to sleep, but there are also many moments when they become engaged in a discussion that pushes them intellectually or a debate that challenges them to try to see a different point of view. These are the moments that shape who they are and help to determine the choices they will make in their careers and their personal lives. And I am fortunate enough to have the opportunity to play a small role in that. What could be better?
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